Three and a half reasons why it’s so hard to change jobs.
As I write this article, I’m sitting in a café where I work from time to time. I’ve just found myself feeling rather envious – someone has come in and sat down in a sunny spot (in December!), which I hadn’t even noticed. I’ve sat down where I always sit. Why on earth did I do that?
Habit
Habits are a powerful force. We stick with things – such as a job we don’t like – because trying something new might be even more painful. After all, we’re familiar with what we have now; it offers security.
Leaving this safe haven immediately comes at a personal cost – unease, anxiety, perhaps sleepless nights. Yet the new opportunity we’ve chosen hasn’t materialised yet; it exists only as an idea and a wish. And even if it could ultimately be far better than what we have now, the benefits are still hard to grasp.
Nevertheless, one might ask oneself where one would like to be in three or five years’ time. What would be a place one would actually look forward to even on a Sunday evening? Who would one like to work with, and what tasks would one like to devote oneself to? This exercise opens one’s eyes to just how much one’s desires differ from one’s current reality, and what might be possible.
Existential anxiety
It’s almost self-explanatory – I need money for rent, food, loans, clothes, holidays, …
That’s true. But nobody is saying you should quit your job on the spur of the moment and ride off into the sunset with the aim of finding yourself.
You can also gradually get a sense of what would make a good job – or a better one – by talking to friends or with the help of self-help books (such as Richard N. Bolles’ classic:
Getting the Job of Your Dreams: The Ultimate Guide for Newcomers, Career Changers and Career Climbers
). After that, you can still take your time applying for jobs whilst still in your current role or on parental leave; this is what many of my clients do
External support (and a lack of self-confidence)
I often hear that family or friends show little understanding for the desire to change jobs. “How can you give up a secure job?” to “Oh my goodness, I’d be absolutely terrified” are the perennial favourites among the comments.
People who hold this view (and very often these are your own parents – regardless of how old you are!) should be avoided during the transition phase. I mean that seriously. It is often their own need for security and their fear that come through in what they say.
Instead, you should surround yourself with people who understand that you are unhappy in your job. Even better – those who know you well and can show you how many challenges you have already overcome, that things have always worked out in the end, and that there is no reason why it shouldn’t be the same this time.
